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Would you know if you were dating a narcissist?

Is that really that bad?

Narcissists love themselves. They have an inflated sense of their own importance. They crave attention and admiration and have little if no empathy for others. But they need to ensure that the attention they get from others is positive and serves only to benefit them. In other words, they care what people think of them, probably too much. It's this that distinguishes them from psychopaths who don't care what anyone thinks of them and have no ties whatsoever to anyone external to themselves. For example, a psychopath wouldn't care if their partner was injured, whereas a narcissist probably would.

When it comes to dating, narcissists want the best - in their eyes. They'll go for what they believe is the ultimate person to date and that usually means someone very attractive that they can manipulate and treat as their trophy piece. But they will always insist on and remain superior. Dating companions and partners tend to be people they can easily take advantage of and eventually take control of. But the process is usually gradual and subtle because they don't want to make it obvious. They're smart people with complex thought processes, and they can make decisions very quickly. They can spend a lot of time scheming things in their heads to ensure a situation they're likely to be in will always work to their advantage.

Narcissistic people generally aren't aware of their personality traits. Psychologists define narcissistic behaviour as a personality disorder, and most people with the condition would probably not even realise anything was different about them. If they can still function and survive amongst the general population, and they actually do so very well, then there isn't really anything wrong.

But dating a narcissist can cause a lot of problems, mainly because they're so good at manipulation that they'll have you like putty in their hands before you're even remotely aware of their 'disorder'. They'll impress you to start with. Their stories are engaging and interesting, bordering unbelievable sometimes. They'll tell you how well they're doing, how successful they are. They'll sell themselves really well until you buy into them. You can think of them like a really pushy salesperson who just won't give in until you pay up. Before you know it, you'll be accompanying them to the venue of their choice, having lavish dinners and often gaining an impressive social life. But don't be fooled by all this. To them, you're just a disposable possession of theirs with no ties or attachments to anything of value or importance. They brought you into this world and can easily send you right back where you came from if things don't work out.

How can you spot if your date is a narcissist?

1. Do they come across as thinking they are more important than they really are?
2. Do they crave constant, if not excessive, admiration as if they are a superior person, valued more than you?
3. Does their conversation often involve them talking about things they've achieved and won or things they can do that others can't?
4. Do they expect you always to look perfect wherever you go and wherever you are?
5. Do they always want everything to be perfect and expect the best from anything they do or anything they have?
6. Do they often belittle you, look down on you as if you were inferior to them?
7. Can you spot them taking advantage of others frequently?
8. Do they rarely, or never empathise with the feelings of others, or if they do, do those empathetic responses seem false?
9. Are they usually loud and boastful, perhaps you or others might find them arrogant?

If you answer 'yes' to most of the questions above, then there's a good chance your date is a narcissist, and you should really think hard about whether or not you're prepared to handle such a complicated relationship.

Are narcissists that bad?

Because they have little empathy for others, that's something you should be concerned about. Narcissists can make excellent partners if you're able to understand how they operate. They are usually successful people and can introduce a great deal of success and fulfilment into your life, but you need to be cautious of their lack of empathy. If you're looking for someone loving that you open your heart too, a narcissist probably isn't the right partner for you. But if you want someone who can support you financially and can introduce you into a world of seeming superiority, then you might just find some enjoyment dating one. Always be on your guard though because things can turn nasty if they don't get what they want. You need to be emotionally strong enough to handle it.

So the next time you're searching on Flirthut for your partner, make sure you look out for any signs before you get too heavily attached to someone. And remember that Flirthut has hundreds of thousands of members around the world all waiting to meet that special someone. If you're not already a member, join us today for free.

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