More woman than I could possibly handle

Many years ago (before internet dating), following a 'Personal ad.,' I secured a blind date via the telephone with breathless Linda who I suspected of working out at the time I called, but she said not. We agreed to meet at a restaurant. Our meeting was somewhat surprising as, by Linda's own admission, she weighed thirty two stones (203 kg.). She asked if I minded her weight? Of course I replied 'No.' Anyway, I had not taken a klaxton and trainers with me, and what harm could her weight do? As she sat down her copious weight engulfed her dining chair. Was it still there or had it gone somewhere? I seriously awaited the sound of a loud crack. Fortunately there was silence and I recalled the top drawer nearby ironworks. But no sooner had she sat down than she staggered up again, the chair standing firm and audibly sighing, declaring that she needed to visit the toilet. It was a smart restaurant and as Linda opened the door I saw that a beautifully wallpapered corridor led to the ladies' area. But alas she was less than a yard in before she became totally jammed! It took three waiters to drag her out before Linda, again breathless, made a second attempt at entry. This time slowly edging forward sideways which proved successful by the narrowest of margins. Throughout the meal I observed both other diners eyeing us and waiters peeking through the door to the kitchen. I pretended not to notice. Needless to say at the end of the evening I gave a massive tip, but such very likely did not come close to any later discovered personal injuries or wall damage. A night to remember!

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From: Location, Undisclosed
Posted: 2019-01-27 23:34:53

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