Don't give your real name out on your dating profile

Staying anonymous online

Posted by an ex Flirthut member
- Jan 31, 2025 @23:01

I did security as a profession for many years. In that time, I learned a lot about people -- the good and the bad. Over the years interacting with people online, I realized just how important it is to stay anonymous on the internet. There is no place online that you will find my real name, unless you already have it. I take my personal security very seriously, and you should too. I am a ghost on the internet for a reason and my real name is never attached to my internet name.

In the modern age, it seems that nearly everyone is after your personal information: companies, government agencies, and probably worst of all, hackers, thieves and stalkers. Just last week I had someone in my local area see me on a dating website and track me down to an email I use for non-important stuff. It made me realize that I am glad I compartmentalize my internet life from my local life. If I had put my real name on my dating profile, she would have been standing on my doorstep instead.

Many articles on dating scams will tell you not to trust someone who doesn't give you their real name, and yet a lot of dating sites will also tell you not to give out your real name. So which one is it? Well, the people who write a lot of these articles to warn you about dating scams are giving you important information about how the scams work, but some of these writers don't have very much common sense and just rewrite something that some other ignorant person wrote. The problem is, giving out your real name can allow someone you don't want to show up at your doorstep by doing a public info search that will reveal your current address. Do not do it. I shouldn't have to tell you how uncomfortable that situation is.

So should you trust someone who won't give you their real name until you meet? I think in the modern world the way it is, you should probably overlook this as a criteria for getting to know someone online. They are just trying to protect themselves.

But you should look out for other signs. If you sent a picture to someone on an email you use to compartmentalize your online dating life, and they say thanks for your picture in one message one day, and then say they didn't get it in the very next message the next day after that, you should probably be aware that you might not be talking to one person, but multiple people. In such a scenario, I would strongly recommend immediately cutting off all contact with the 'individual.' That is a warning sign. You have no idea what the intentions are of the group you are now chatting with, and keep in mind that human kidnapping and trafficking is a real thing, and it happens in every country. Be smart.

Another sign to look out for is discrepancies in their understanding of the information you have shared with them. If you use multiple dating sites, and one day a person comes out of the blue and chats you up, and then the next day they do the same but never seem to look at your profile or even know who you are, that is a sign to block them. If they don't care enough to read your profile, and they can't track who you are day to day, just block the and move on.

There are many other ways to spot inconsistency in chatting with others online. It is hard for us to track all the people we talk to. For this reason, I try to limit the amount of people I want to talk with, and narrow down who is the best candidate from there. If you have to, take notes on what people tell you, and build a conversation profile on them so that if they change their story, you can spot it by reviewing records. Email conversations make this easy, but if you aren't ready for the email exchange stage, take notes. Taking some simple notes on each person can reveal dangerous patterns about them that you otherwise would not see. And that will keep you out of trouble.

I think that's about it for this post. Hope you all have a safe time dating, and please be smart and protect yourselves.

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