Been suicidal (severe emotional pain) from 1998 to now losing the love of my life Cynthia

I really need and want a girl that wants to spend time with me, hold my hand and kiss and hug me. We touch each other's skin; no s*x is preferable but we can do it. I didn't do it with the first wife so she left me and I've been suicidal since. She left me in 1998 until now, 2021, and I will be suicidal for the rest of my life unless I find true love again. She was my dream girl. She always dressed like my dream girl 'Lilia', a fictional half-elf I painted for many years originally based on Vivian my cousin who I was in love with since I was a child. My first wife had the same personality as Lilia, peaceful loving and caring, but she can live without me and I cannot. So my dream girl now is someone like me that we cannot live without each other. But if you can leave me and you are like Cynthia, my first wife, I will still be the happiest guy on earth. I just have to be not suicidal and try again.

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Posted by member: davidwiz
From: Canada, Calgary
Posted: 2020-03-02 18:59:50

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Comment/reply from: Steve, United Kingdom,
Posted: 2020-03-03 09:48:44

Hi davidwiz, I was very disturbed to read your post and hope that my advice will help. Firstly, if you're having suicidal thoughts, you should really speak to a GP/doctor. Anti-depressants and similar medication will help to control your thinking a bit which will ultimately assist you in finding your partner. It's difficult to meet anyone when you're not in the right frame of mind. Trying to meet someone new who is similar to a previous partner isn't a good thing. Nobody is the same – everyone is different – and expecting someone to be similar to someone else is unrealistic. It might also help you to meet someone completely different, to give you a different outlook and perspective of things. There are lots of single women who are not too concerned about having s*x and prefer affection. You need to find those women or someone with a similar s*x drive to you, otherwise, it’s likely your new partner will eventually cheat on you or leave you. I don't think what you're looking for is unrealistic. I think you will find someone easily but deal with your emotional pain first to keep your head clean. I wish you all the best of luck. Steve.

Comment/reply from: , Location, Undisclosed
Posted: 2020-03-05 10:33:26

Dude, no woman is worth that. Go to your doctor's office and see if they can help you. Once you've sorted your head out, you can move on.

Comment/reply from: davidwiz, Canada, Calgary
Posted: 2020-03-05 15:09:38

Thank you guys so much for your perspective.... cheating is not a problem at all, I love girls who cheat on me unless they leave me now that is devastating. Moreover, I love everyone. I gave my life savings to the homeless and have no selfishness, greed or jealousy, any girlfriend or wife of mine and her boyfriends or husbands can have some or most or all my money that I earn. It depends on how much my mom and son and wife want me to give out. My son said no don't give all your money to your girlfriend and her boyfriend, what if she dumps you daddy noob, oh and yes my wife now (the second one) can have any boyfriend or husband she wants and yes can definitely divorce me. I don't have romantic feelings for her, but at the same time in my profile and talks with girls will not leave her no matter how beautiful the girl is. I tried to find male lifetime companion for me after dismally failing at the online dating scene, I got several guys in the first several days interested in my wife, then I told her, then she said don't tell these guys anything about me and don't tell them where I work etc. Then they never spoke to me again even though I said I care for them and love them forever. Oh I also met two sweet and gentle guys Teddie and George both old men, but after telling them I'm not gay, they never spoke to me again. Does this world revolve around s*x? its ridiculous. When I was young and hung out with guys all they talk about is s*x. Why aren't you talking about comic books, movies, video games, art, music, philosophy, psychology, world politics, science, maths, engineering, law, quantum mechanical theory, etc. Yes I'm a super genius lol.

Comment/reply from: davidwiz, Canada, Calgary
Posted: 2020-03-05 15:17:06

Oh this is messages I sent to a girl on online dating. I didn't break up with her but at the same time wasn't in love with her after seeing her second and third pics I want to spend every minute with you for every day of my life, all money goes to you and whoever you love, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me like Cynthia and better than Cynthia if you don't leave me. All my comic books movies and video games are not necessary anymore. I mean I love them preciously but not nearly as much as you with you. It's millions of times better like with Cynthia. I only had my sketchbook with Cynthia in china and that was more than enough as long as I could spend as much time with her as I can. I saw the second picture of you now and it's not as beautiful as the first. You will have to send me more. I am so sorry about this, it's better we see if we're perfect together now than if I break your heart later. I already did this with Rita Sarpong, a girl with an incredible heart in Africa and I'm never doing this again. I have to find a pretty girl that makes time to stop, as leaves are falling down in the park as I kiss her and hold her hand they are falling in slow motion, like the universe readjusts itself slightly at her very presence. This is how I felt with Cynthia better than all the paintings and drawings I did before I met her. Yes I have to let you know this and im so sorry if I broke your heart you will find Mr. perfect. You are still extremely beautiful just send me more pics to see if you're like Cynthia. Your personality is for sure maybe even better.

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