Dating advice for women, ladies and gals...

The online dating challenge for women

As a woman, lady, female, girl, gal - whatever you prefer to call yourself, you probably have the most difficult challenge out of the sexes when it comes to online dating. A lot of men seem to think the internet gives them a screen to hide behind (and in certain respects it does). As a result, guys revert to a child like state online where they think that hurling comments and sexual innuendos will impress a lady. And sometimes that works, but most often they get ignored. So be aware that when guys do the things they do online, it's because they are reverting to a child like state and are pretty stupid. But not all guys are like this. There are lots of genuine men out there who have grown up. We've given the men some sound advice under the dating tips for men section and explained that most women don't like seeing shots of their genitalia or images of a sexual nature. Flirthut automatically blocks images like this, but it doesn't stop guys wasting their time trying to upload photos that they know will get rejected.

In general, women prefer that a guy makes initial contact first. This is quite universal. Our female ancestors would group together and wait for the dominant male to pick one of them. Years on and several iPhone's later, most women are still the same. And to be honest, a lot of guys like that. But to increase your chances of getting in touch with someone, if you contact them first, you're very likely to get a response. That's because most guys rarely get first contact with women and when they do, it's like an early Birthday present. So surprise them. Find someone you like and get in contact with them. Doing this also shows a guy that you are independent, resourceful and know what you want. The majority of guys find that a big turn on.

Writing your online dating profile

Don't put too much detail in your profile description and what you're looking for. A lot of women like to express themselves by writing, but a lot of guys are unfortunately lazy and will seldom want to read through lots of information so keep things moderately brief and specific.

Highlight your best attributes and don't waffle on too much about what you hate. Focus on what you like, what you enjoy and what your expectations are from a guy. Try not to be too specific in what you're looking for and be polite. Don't assume all guys will be idiots and you don't need to emphasise things that guys you would reject anyway would do - this can put off someone who is genuinely interested in you.

Whereas a lot of women get immersed in descriptions and text, guys get their kicks from images. That's what sells things to them. Uploading several good shots of yourself will win you lots of attention. But be careful what type of images you upload. Leaving things to the imagination attracts guys with an imagination and a real interest. Flaunting your bust and bottom in the skimpiest outfit you have will also attract lots of guys, but is more likely to attract guys that will offend you with obscene messages. And try to avoid those horrid "just taken from my phone on the sofa" type shots that darken your face and generally make you look like someone living in a basement. Make the effort to take good shots and attract the right type of person.

As a good general guide, you should upload a couple of photos showing just your face and hair in good light, and at least a couple of photos showing your whole body dressed in a glamorous outfit. You need to sell yourself, but not sell yourself cheap. And avoid putting shots that are dated - you know, those nice pictures of you taken 10 years ago. Guys want to see what you look like now. There's no point hiding behind what you looked like years ago because if you ever met a guy, he would be expecting you to look like the person in the photos he has seen. Don't give him a chance to think negatively about you when you meet. Most of us use the cautious approach when meeting someone for the first time so our defence barriers are up and we'll find anything negative to pick up on.

Be honest about yourself

You don't have to look like Cheryl Cole or Megan Fox to attract a guy. It may surprise you to know that a high percentage of guys like the natural girl next door look. Most woman have a preconception that guys are looking for perfection when in actual fact it's the small imperfections that turn guys on. It shows them you're human - a genuine woman. We're not implying here that Cheryl or Megan are any less human than anyone else - they have their imperfections too - and we're sure they try just as hard, if not harder, to hide them from everyone else.

Don't lie about your age

If you're 18, say you're 18. If you're 50, say you're 50. Don't lie about your age. Again, this goes back to what we were saying before about giving a guy something negative to focus on. If he meets you expecting you to look 22 years old when in actual fact it's plainly obvious that your 40, that'll probably put him off. So don't waste your time hiding behind something you're not. Be honest and it will pay dividends in the end.

Be gentle when you do. Guys are more sensitive than you think. Flirthut only allows communication when you have accepted a contact request or vice versa. Don't accept a contact request if the guy really doesn't rock your boat before you've even spoken.

If after chatting for a bit you decide a particular guy isn't for you, compliment him on his good qualities before telling him that he isn't your type. Be nice though and don't be harsh. Let him keep his ego intact as you part your separate ways. If he's not mature enough to accept your gentle rejection and he harasses you, let us know. For the safety of all our users, we don't tolerate harassment on Flirthut.

Your safety online

It can be quite nerve racking chatting to people online, particularly for a single lady who perhaps has never tried online dating before. Flirthut has several systems in place to make your online dating experience as safe as possible. We detect spam messages from members who could be potentially un-genuine; we vet all photo uploads to ensure they are not offensive; where anything could potential offend you, we will provide a warning; and we don't show any of your personal data to other members - we use usernames to identify you so that your identify online is as safe as it can be.