How many partners is too many? What's acceptable and what's not? I just enjoy the thrill of meeting someone and the closeness of a brief but intense intimate relationship. We all make choices in life. Some of us make choices that we are happy with and the rest make choices that others are happy with.
I was asked to write this blog because of my experiences online. I've slept with over a thousand men that I met online and I've managed to do this since I was a teen. Most of the men I've slept with I met on dating sites, some through social media and the rest just replying to posts in various health and relationship forums. Some people might call me a slut or an easy lay, but the truth is, I just enjoy the thrill of meeting someone and the closeness of a brief but intense intimate relationship. I think it's easy to sleep with a guy when you're a woman. Guys are so easily manipulated online. Most of them crave the attention. They're easy prey. Pretty much every single guy I've ever spoken to online has ended up sleeping with me because I knew I could wrap them around my little finger. There are plenty of guys who do this all the time so why shouldn't a woman? I get asked if I want to settle down all the time and of course I do but it would take a very particular person for me to commit to. Men are easy to find online and even easier to sleep with. That put's me off having a serious relationship with any of them. I know what most of them are looking for. Perhaps shockingly to some, a lot of the guys I've slept with weren’t even single.
I grew up very isolated socially. My parents lived on a farm and decided it was easier to home school me. I had a very limited set of friends and hated not being able to do what all the other kids did. When I was 14, I lost my virginity to a traveling salesman. I was at home alone when it happened. I wasn't raped or taken advantage of. I wanted it to happen. I was a curious teenager. Of the few friends that I had at the time, they were appalled by what I did, particularly as we lived in a very catholic community. I don't regret it at all though. I enjoyed it and I'm proud of what I did.By the time I was 17, I had slept with a handful of men, one of whom was my uncle.
I discovered that I enjoyed sex a lot and had a strong desire for it. I found men very interesting physically and started learning how easy it was to get what I wanted from them. There were very few men in my life at the time that I had any real respect and regard for. I guess that fueled what would lead to be my life not long after. My father worked a lot but always found time for me. He was one of the few men I respected and to this day, I still feel guilty hiding my secret life from him. Until he passed away, he had no idea what I was doing and that I'd slept with one of his brothers. This is probably one part of my life that I'm truly shameful for today. Not because of what I did, but because I kept something from my father who thought so highly of me.
The internet was in its infancy at the time and it took several years before my parents were able to access it from the farm. I would spend most of my time in internet cafes in town discovering what it had to offer and of course, I came across the first online dating sites. It wasn't long before I was meeting men and getting them to travel hundreds of miles to meet me. It was just so easy. All I had to do was put a few vaguely risqué pictures of myself on a profile and I would get inundated with messages. The hardest part was filtering through them all given that I had limited time at each café session.
I had some good experiences and some very bad ones. I was physically abused on more than one occasion. Some people might say I was raped but I was looking for sex so I don't think I was. Some men would try and torture me for their own sexual gratification without asking me if it was acceptable to do so. Other men would sleep with me and then verbally abuse me. I've been spat on, punched in the face and had a knife at my throat but that never put me off. I eventually discovered an art to meeting the right people and for many years now I haven’t had any bad experiences like those.
When I was 28, I left home to move to pursue a job on Long Island and have been here ever since. I have a great circle a friends, a great apartment and I love my life. Most of my friends are monogamous and married but despite my unorthodox lifestyle, they’re always there for me. Today, there are so many compatible men online that I'm finding it difficult to keep up with them. I can only manage seeing a few each week at best. I'd like to see more but realistically, I don't have the time or money to do so. In an ideal world, I'd love to be sleeping with a different guy each night. I just love the attention and I love sex. My biggest fear are STD’s. So far I've been very lucky. The worst I've ever had is Chlamydia on a couple of occasions but I'm not naïve. People often tell me that my lifestyle puts me at risk but I've known people who have only had a few sexual partners in their time and come out a lot worse.
I'm now 42, never married and never had kids. I chose this life and I’m happy with it. I get judged very often by people who don't know me and that infuriates me. What's right for one person doesn't have to be right for another. I think a lot of people that don't like what I do are frustrated and jealous that I can get away with it. That I can explore and appreciate my sexual needs. We all make choices in life. Some of us make choices that we are happy with and the rest make choices that others are happy with.
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