A quick guide to successful online dating

Online dating doesn't have to be tiring and difficult


Most people will try online dating at some time in their life. A lot of those will find the experience tricky and daunting but it doesn't need to be. I've put together a quick guide that should help you make the most of your online dating experience.

It's a fact that most single adults in the US and the UK have tried online dating. A high percentage of those will meet their lifelong partner online. Meeting someone online is easy, but meeting someone right for you is a bit more challenging. Based on current trends and research, the following guide should help you make the most of your online dating experience.

1. Identify the type of person and relationship you want

This sounds pretty obvious but the truth is, a high percentage of online daters meet the wrong people because they're not sure about who they'd like to meet. Jot down on a bit of paper the qualities, characteristics and attributes of the person you're looking for. This will come in handy when you're getting messaged by people so that you know who to politely turn down. Not everyone is going to be your cup of tea.

2. Compose an awesome profile

It's really easy to skip writing anything of substance in your profile, after all, who reads that stuff anyway right? If that sounds like you and you want to meet someone, then change your attitude. The majority of people, particularly those more serious about meeting someone, do read profiles.

3. Have a good set of profile photos

Your profile photos say a lot about you. And it's surprising how many people make so little effort with them. Looking presentable, smart and well-dressed in all photos is important. Choose photos that are clear and ideally taken by someone else. Avoid selfies, especially in front of bathroom mirrors.

4. Keep your language clean, clear and avoid text chat

When messaging other members on any dating site, regardless of whether they messaged you first, take the time to respond to them properly. Shortening messages just implies that you have no interest because you're swamped with other messages. This may be the case, but don’t let a prospective match know that. Make them feel special right from the start.

5. Have realistic expectations

Be polite and nice to everyone. Not everyone will be a match for you, but if a person you're not interested in has made an effort to message you, be polite and respond appropriately. Thank them for getting in touch and make it clear that you don't believe they are suited for you.


6. Be honest about yourself

Make sure your profile is an honest representation of you, now. Not 10 years ago. Now. All your photos should be recent. If you've put on a lot of weight since your photos were taken, there's no point pretending that you're slimmer than you actually are. That will only end up disappointing both parties especially if you meet. Don't lie about your age either. If it's obvious that there are lies or exaggerations right from the start, that's a bad basis for a relationship.

7. Be persistent but don't be pushy

There's a fine line here that shouldn't be crossed. If you really like someone, you have to apply some gentle persistence providing they are also interested in you. If they're not, and it should be obvious, then walk away. Don’t be pushy. It'll just aggravate them and make them resent you. There's always a chance that they might come across you again in the future.

8. Don't be needy and come across desperate

If you're fortunate enough to build rapport with someone you like online, don't, whatever you do, start harassing them if they don't respond quickly enough for you. Everyone has a different routine and schedule and some people might be busy. They'll respond to you when they can. Don't force them. That'll only end up in disappointment all around. Give them some space and you'll see they'll respond nicely.

9. Have a genuine interest in the other person

If you're just messaging lots of people to increase your odds, the chances are you'll get lots of responses but with people you have no real interest in. Do your research. Find out about them first by reading their profiles and have a real interest in them. It'll make things far easier when you do 'click'.

10. Register with lots of free dating sites

This will improve your chances of meeting someone suitable for you. Yes it's time consuming but also it's worth it. After all, isn't it important to make an effort to gain a successful relationship? Read reviews about the sites before you sign up to make sure they're good and legitimate. Always check the small print and make sure your personal details are never passed on to anyone else. Try different approaches on each site to get a flavour of what works best for you. Maybe upload different pictures if you have them.

11. Don't overdo it

No matter what you're looking for online, finding the right person can take time. As with anything, give it a break now and again. Don't let it take control of your life. Limit how much time you spend searching online every day otherwise it'll get exhausting.

12. And finally, enjoy the experience

Regardless of whether you meet someone today, tomorrow or next year, enjoy your dating experience. Yes you'll chat to some strange people, some good, some bad, but remember that everyone else has had to do the same thing. Have fun online and remember, there's a chance you might not meet anyone online, but you could bump into them in the street, at a seminar or just out socialising.

Written by Andrew Simpson
Dated: 2015-02-26
Viewed: 25 times


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