Have you ever watched the famous flick "You’ve Got Mail?" back in 1998 starring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan? Here's the gist: It all started with an intense and anonymous Internet romance. After a while, however, the two learned that they were business rivals in real life. After some struggle and reconciliation, they both lived happily ever after.
This may be a rather shallow, not to mention a fictional example, but there's no doubt that online dating can lead to cyber love and potentially turn into true love in real life. Online dating is the new normal for many singles across the globe. We see people from across the globe converge in the online niche. It can even go as far as meeting people, dating online, and ending up as lovers in real life.
Technology is evolving so quickly that it allows us to communicate in a wide array of options in a more efficient way. The problem is that our ability to use it effectively is often lacking. This is especially true for men who generally have to stand out and pursue women, even in the online niche.
Unfortunately, it isn't uncommon to see men failing to do the right thing when it comes to communicating online. Although it's true that you should be yourself, poor messaging etiquette might hinder your chances of meeting the 'one' and blow away that once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet the love of your life. Here, we will tackle three messaging mistakes most men commonly commit and what can be done about it:
Let's start with long messages. Some men like to start with an anecdotal introduction and end up writing long messages throughout the conversation as if they were writing a novel. This isn't very sexy at all. Trading messages is supposed to be a conversation - and a conversation is a two-way thing. It is supposed to be an engaging exchange of ideas. You chat first, then she'll reply, and the conversation should go on and on and on - ever so smoothly.
Aside from long messages being a turn-off, it's not good to spill the beans right away; it's best to leave some room for mystery. This gives you and your prospect topics to discuss in the future, thus sparking undivided interest and keeping the conversation flowing. When starting a conversation, it's best to begin with a brief intro. Throughout the conversation, remember to K.I.S.S. This early on? No, we don't mean a smooch. Keep it simple, stupid!
Let's move on to the next major turn-off: Self-centeredness. Dale Carnegie, in his book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" claims that humans need to feel important. He mentioned that out of all the emotions you could use to persuade someone, the most powerful is the desire to feel important. This phenomenon is often observed in people who try to make themselves seem important so that prospective suitors will be interested. However, this attempt usually backfires. It works best when you do the opposite. Talk less about yourself and ask questions instead. Listen (or rather, read) intently. Be genuinely interested in the other party. You don't need to blabber on and on about yourself. While it's essential to introduce yourself, it's more important to get to know the other party as well. After all, that's why you're dating online - to meet people, find someone worth your attention, and pursue them. You don't want to appear to be someone whose huge ego needs deflating!
There's a reason why you are trying online dating - to meet people and find someone interesting who may end up being your potential lover. But here's the thing, you don't want to be anything but a pen pal. You can chat her up and get to know her, but unless you are only up for friendship online, then you need to focus on your main goal. Once you've got a woman's attention and you guys have been pursuing a regular conversation, strike while the iron is hot. Show your romantic interest and be cocky enough to ask her out. This could be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to meet the love of your life. Good luck!
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Written by Tanya S
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