Looking for love

We all need it in different ways


It makes us feel safe, happy and content, but finding it can take time, effort and perseverance. Some of us unintentionally go about it the wrong way.

Whatever your definition of love, we all want it. It makes us feel safe, happy and content. Some of us are lucky to be loved in different ways by our partners, friends and family. Some of us are looking for love but just don't know where and how to find it. We crave love in different ways from different people. Some love is conditional and some isn't.

Our expectations

The one thing you should take note of is an expectation of convenience. Unfortunately, our modern way of thinking has made it far to easy to expect things to happen quickly and with little effort. There are tens of thousands of dating apps claiming to help people looking for love but the majority of these are designed to work on impulse. We swipe one way to tell a match that we're not interested and another way to tell them that we are. How convenient and how impulsive.

Looking for love shouldn't be an impulsive action. It can take time and effort. There are so many facets to a relationship that basing one purely on what someone looks like in a photo is the wrong thing to do especially if you are looking for love. We all look good on some days and bad on other days. That's just part of being human.

Since Flirthut started back in 2012, it has helped numerous people around the world to find love online. Like a lot of other free dating sites, don't expect it to fulfil your romantic expectations with no effort. It should be used as a tool to assist you in your quest. Done correctly, it can make looking for love that much more easier.

Dating sites aren't a one-stop shop

It is quite surprising how many people expect to meet the love of their life online on the assumption that a dating site match should be perfect for them. Dating sites use a very basic matching process based on set parameters but real life is a lot more complex. The matches produced are not intended to be the final result so to speak. They should be considered options for exploration. A dating site doesn't know the in's and out's of your personality or anyone else's. Don’t be fooled by services that claim to match you based on 'chemistry' that they have apparently worked out because of your answers to a few questions. Ultimately, it is the smallest of decision processes that will influence how you go about looking for love.

Don't let your fantasies influence your decision making

Fairy-tale love

Most of us have dreams about our love life. It's perfectly healthy to do so, and we probably do it more when we are looking for love. But remember that a fantasy is just that. The person we conjure up in our heads might be the perfect match for us, but we've set all their attributes to meet all our expectations and reality doesn't quite work that way.

Some people don't know they're looking for love

We're not all at the same juncture in our lives. We all have different needs and expectations. Some people are happy being single, enjoying the dating world or are still recovering from a recent break up. Love doesn't always come into the equation until we're with someone and it just grows on us. The majority of successful relationships have grown over time because a relationship is so complex that it needs nurture. There are also people that are already in loving relationships and aren't looking for love as they already have it. Cue the look of envy and jealousy!

Is it love or lust?

Sometimes, we can fall for someone because the start of our relationship with them is so intense that we fool ourselves into thinking we're in love. Most of us have done that before. It's an easy thing to do when we're looking for love because it satisfies a big portion of our expectations. Unfortunately, relationships like these are usually short-lived because a truly loving relationship isn't just based on intimacy.

If you're looking for love, be clear about it

If you're looking for love online, make sure you make it clear that you are. As there are so many people looking for different things, sometimes you have to be very specific in any descriptions you write about yourself so that you only get approached by matches looking for similar things. Be clear in your profile that you're looking for love and not just a short term relationship or an intimate encounter.

Patience and perseverance

And finally, remember that a relationship can take time to develop and grow stronger. If you're looking for love, it'll come as you work on it. Of course a loving relationship should be a two way thing, and if it isn't then you should address why. Work on making it a two way thing or if all else fails, go looking for love somewhere else.

A good place to start is at Flirthut. Sign up today for free and get the ball rolling.

Written by Andrew Simeou
Dated: 2019-06-15
Viewed: 806 times