Kicking off a relationship on the right foot - Dating 101

While there may be a million and one different ways to start a relationship, no approach has been proven to be more beneficial in the long run than one with authenticity rooted within it.

Let's be real: how many times have you dealt with a relationship riddled with lies and insincerity? How many times could have starting it off with complete honesty changed things for the better?

When you start a relationship without making authenticity a priority, it can result in a partnership that doesn't feel right and requires too much lying to keep up. How, then, can you kick things off on the right foot? Keep reading to find out!

Why it's important to have authenticity in a relationship

The role of authenticity in a relationship is akin to that of gas in a car: you won't be able to really take it where it's supposed to go without it. Authenticity can be extremely empowering, but it can also be a dealbreaker that ends relationships just a few moments shy of a disaster. That being said, it can also keep it going from now until eternity.

There's no doubt that authenticity can be hard to maintain at the start of a relationship, especially because of all the excitement and butterflies fluttering around. You're more likely to put on your best underwear than that worn-out pair that you wear on the regular and more likely to go out on fancy dates instead of staying home with a box of pizza.

This exact fun-filled and spontaneous part of every relationship is called the "Honeymoon Phase." This is a time in every relationship where authenticity strives, yet struggles to be known because all that you've experienced together is just pure happiness to the point of naivety.

The end of the honeymoon phase

Sooner or later, you'll have to deal with the realities of a relationship as once the honeymoon phase goes away and normalcy begins to set in. As the days go by, the fun-loving, carefree persona that you've forced yourself so hard to pull off doesn't seem as practical to put on.

Suddenly, your efforts of fakery to get love, approval, and appreciation can't seem to overcome reality. One way or another, attempts of in-authenticity meet their end throughout the course of a relationship and come down to regrets that go along the lines of, "This is hard. Why didn't I just show my authentic self in the first place?"

How to start a relationship on an authentic note

As scary as being authentic and sincere in a relationship sounds, it's important to note that being these two things is actually the grand "secret" to long-lasting partnerships and unbreakable marriages. Through authenticity, a relationship can lead to growing a sense of codependency, where there is a mutual understanding of what you and your partner can and cannot do for each other. This makes it much easier for an authentic relationship to truly take root. When striving for authenticity in a relationship, here are a few questions that can help you build the best relationship possible for you and your significant other:

"What do I really want in a loving relationship?"
"What would a relationship look like if I cared for myself more?"
"How do I deal with conflict and go beyond my own selfishness?"
"When can I be my most vulnerable?"

Creating an authentic relationship means that you'll have to ditch the "perfect boyfriend or girlfriend" persona so that you can become your most authentic self, which in turn can also allow your partner to reveal their most real selves to you as well.

Being in an authentic relationship means that you'll be able to tackle difficult situations and deeper conversations much easier down the road, simply because you were able to create an environment of congruence and integrity.

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