The best places to meet people when you're single

Typical places to start are bars and nightclubs, so we don't need to mention those. And in all honesty, they're probably not the best places to meet people these days for many reasons. It's just too easy to meet someone unsuitable for you when either you or they are intoxicated or just out to have fun with their friends. Not surprisingly, the number of people meeting their partners in bars and nightclubs has declined over the last decade.

One thing not to do is force a situation. We've all seen it in various movies where the man accidentally spills a drink on the woman and ends up chatting to her etc. In reality, forcing attention like this seldom works well if it occurs between two strangers because there is a negative association, and that gets the other persons brain thinking differently. It could very well make the difference between you appearing charming or annoying.

Meeting people on a part-time/leisure course

Part-time/leisure courses that are nonacademic are fantastic places to meet single people and open up opportunities for you. People are usually in a positive frame of mind. They've finished work and are looking to socialise with new people. Find something you enjoy doing and do a bit of research to see whether the type of person you're looking for is likely to be there. A big hurdle is identifying who's single, but that becomes apparent very quickly as you get to know everyone in the group. Choose activities that involve partnering up where you need to engage in one to one conversation with lots of people frequently. It's pretty much a guaranteed way to find your partner and possibly your soulmate.

Meeting someone while shopping

Yep, it's possible to meet people while your shopping, particularly if you're shopping at one of the popular supermarkets. Single people have to eat too, and if you time your trip correctly, you stand a good chance of bumping into someone who could very well end up being your lifelong partner. It might sound like something out of a movie, but it does happen, as it did to one of my friends. Though it's not easy identifying who's single and who isn't. The best thing to do is smile lots, be happy and engage in conversation with other shoppers when any opportunity arises. Don't bump or nudge their trolley or do anything similar. Remember what we said about forcing a situation.

Meeting someone on a train

Trains are great places to meet people because they're pretty much stuck with you. Engaging in conversation can be tricky as not everyone wants to be chatting to a stranger, but if any opportunity arises to do so, take it and see where it goes. Make sure that you pick the right person to sit next to though. If you don't, it doesn't matter too much. Just pretend you're getting off at the next stop and move into a different carriage. You could work your way through the entire train if you're feeling ambitious.

Meeting someone new in a coffee shop

People usually go to coffee shops for some peace - to help them work, or to socialise. You can have a mix of loudness and quietness, which can vary depending on the time of day. The best tactic in a coffee shop is to pretend you're one of the people there with your laptop and sneakily check out the other single people. They'll usually be the ones on their own, with their laptops. Choose your potential mate and sit near them. When you're halfway through your coffee, pretend you're interested in what they might be doing because you might be doing the same. Or choose a hectic day where seats are limited, find the people on their own and ask to sit with them. It doesn't always work, and you might have to try it a few times, but it may end up being worth it.

Meeting single parents at a soft play area

If you have kids of your own and you don't mind meeting someone else who has kids, soft-play centres can be great places to meet people. Often, the single dad or single mum will take their kids there so that they can sit and relax for a bit while their children wear themselves out. Some soft play centres have sofas for the grown-ups, and if it's busy, you can always ask "if it's OK for me to sit here?". Don't go when it's too busy though because the atmosphere changes somewhat as parents stress levels go through the roof. Day time sessions during the week are best.

The worst places to meet people

There are also places and situations you should avoid. I'm not saying these should be ruled out, but the likelihood of success is very slim, and your efforts are best focused elsewhere.

Meeting someone new at work

Workplace relationships are not only frowned upon by most companies, but they can also cause all sorts of difficulties in the long run if things don't work out. A lot of people's careers have been ruined or set-back as a result of failed workplace relationships. It's just not worth it. Remember, you'll be seeing these people pretty much every day.

Meeting at an airport

There are lots of single people coming in and out of airports every day. But they're usually exhausted, only interested in getting home or rushing to catch their flight. It can be soul-destroying to be given the brush-off after you've invested so much effort chatting to a random stranger. Having said that, Tom Hanks almost bagged Catherine Zeta-Jones in the Terminal, so anything's possible.

Engaging with someone in a library

Libraries are full of intelligent, articulate people who are there to learn and there for a reason. Libraries are usually tranquil places, so engaging in a conversation could get you in trouble. It's also near impossible to determine who's single and who isn't because it's very 50/50. You could try your luck and ask someone for a coffee, but the chances of success are very slim. Having said that, if by chance you spot someone reading something you're very interested in, it could end up being a very a good day for you.

Out of all these ideas, one key characteristic that will work in your favour is confidence. It takes a fair bit of courage to strike up a conversation with a stranger wherever you are, but that's all it could take to end up with the partner of your dreams. If you're not the most confident person, take small steps first and remember that failure is just part of the process that everyone goes through. It might take fifty attempts to get one success story, but that's all you need – one success story for life.

If you prefer the modern way of meeting people, then Flirthut could have your dream partner waiting for you online. It's completely free online dating for people who might not be so confident.