A few weeks back, a guest blogger wrote about his polyamorous experiences. The blog caused quite a stir, so we're back for more.
One of our blogs a few weeks ago covered the topic of polyamory, and since then, we've had quite a few people writing to us wanting to share their experiences. Some responses have been against polyamory, claiming that it goes against religious practices and others have been praising it for its liberating behaviour. We've put together some extracts from the feedback which will no doubt attract further responses.
For those who might not know what being polyamorous is, it's the practice of having more than one intimate partner at a time if all partners are consensual. You can find out more on our original blog here, a dating perspective from a polyamorous man, written by our guest blogger.
What follows under each heading below are extracts from the feedback we received. We have re-worded some sentences to make them safe and suitable for publication and have kept the identities of each person hidden.
How boring would life be if we were all just stuck with one intimate partner most of our lives? Having to fantasise about intimacy with other people and resenting our partners for restricting our experiences. That's no way to live. We're not designed to be monogamous because our brains want to experience as much as they can, and that includes intimate experiences with different people. I have been polyamorous for over ten years, and I can honestly say I'm very satisfied with my life.
Polyamory goes against everything natural in human evolution. We're born to be monogamous to support and nurture our family. Polyamory introduces unnecessary competitiveness which can result in the destruction of bonds between child and parent, not to mention spreading disease. It's the practice of sinners, and those who do so shall be at the mercy of our lord.
I didn't have my first intimate experience until I was thirty-two. Since then, I've only had two relationships. I'm now fifty-four and married to my third intimate partner. We've been married for over ten years. I love her very much, but the intimacy has dwindled considerably, and I often fantasise about having secret relationships with other women. I don't even know how anyone would go about doing this and meeting women that are interested in the idea of polyamory. It seems like something that's only ever written about and seldom practised. I don't know anyone who's in a situation like this, but I'd like to know more and understand how to get the ball rolling.
I'm in a polyamorous relationship with three men, all above board and consensual. Until recently, I thought all of us were partnering with other polyamorous people until one of my partners admitted to being married. While this wouldn't ordinarily be a problem, it has become one because his wife knows nothing about his other partners and me. I became polyamorous with the intention of complete honesty between all involved and what he's doing contradicts that. I don't know whether I should say something to him as it isn't my business, but I can't stand the thought of being responsible for a marriage break up if his wife ever found out. I'm in a quandary
Having lots of partners who frequently exchange bodily fluids sounds like one big o*gy to me - nothing more, nothing less. The word polyamory is just a way of making it sound trendy.
I love my husband and always will. We've been married for over forty years, and we know each other inside and out. I think young adults today are unhappy inside and polyamory is a failed attempt to find happiness. Relationships are tough at the best of times, and it's easy to walk away from them at the first sign of a challenge. It takes great strength and commitment to build a relationship and to trust someone. There's no way there can be any trust when adults are finding new intimate experiences all the time. It sounds soul-destroying and meaningless. Young adults are encouraged to follow such trends thanks to the media that portrays them in such a positive light. But as most of us know, the truth is what the media show us is purely for their gain and has no bearing on reality.
The young adult of today is all about image, short-sighted liberation and instant gratification. I have nothing against people doing what they want, but I see polyamory as just a trend started by a generation of humans that are losing the ability to care about each other genuinely. There was no such thing as polyamory before TV and the internet because the idea of it wasn't invented.
I'm a polyamorous gay guy who's frequently ridiculed by people because "gay people are all polyamorous anyway". Oh, and "we're contributing to the growth of diseases". I have to listen to rubbish like this all the time. Some of my closest friends who are gay are in committed relationships, and I respect their choice. I, however, choose to have multiple partners because that's what I enjoy. I'm not hurting anyone doing what I do so what business is it of theirs?
Life's so short so who are we to tell others what's right or wrong? If everyone consents and it's not hurting anyone, go and enjoy yourselves I say, and let me know when and if I can join in!
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Written by Andrew S
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