Am I a lesbian?

I haven’t slept with a guy for over 3 years now and a few weeks ago, one of my friends jokingly suggested that I was a lesbian. Joking aside though, I’m a bit concerned as I don’t seem to have much of a drive any more for men. I’ve been on several dates in that time but none of them seem to satisfy me emotionally or mentally. I find guys are really immature and I have far better relationships with my female friends. I’m really worried that I might be lesbian or bisexual. I don’t fantasise about being with another woman but I am curious. What should I do? All of my close female friends are straight and have male partners so I can’t really talk to them about this as I’m afraid they might turn against me. I have been thinking that maybe I should have a lesbian encounter to see how I feel but I’m really scared. I’ve never done anything like this before. Please, can anyone help me with some advice?

  • Post by: jkills
  • United Kingdom
  • Luton
  • 2012-11-07 20:37:31

Comments/responses from other people...

Comment/reply from : Jessie - Australia -
Posted : 2012-11-15 21:49:38


Hi jkills. Interesting name by the way and interesting predicament. I’m bisexual and didn’t know until my boyfriend at the time insisted I have a three some. Tried it, really enjoyed it, and never looked back. I was very uncomfortable and nervous about it at the time but once I got it all over and done with, I understood what I wanted. So perhaps you should have an encounter of some sort to see how you feel. If you really don’t like it even before you’ve gone through the motions, then at least you’ll know it’s definitely not for you.

Comment/reply from : SexyHunter - United States - Grafton
Posted : 2013-01-15 21:07:56


You say you are finding guys more immature. This could be your body telling you that you are not interested in boys anymore, but are actually looking for something serious. You are a woman and have power on your own. Use it to sift out the bad boys, find the decent men (Good luck) and see if that is what you desire. If it isn't then experiment with girls to find your sexual orientation.



Some people simply don't have huge rushes of emotional love or lust either. You could utilize your time with hobbies or become career-minded instead of a relationship. Before you know it though you could simply fall flat in love with someone. You have the potential and you have the desire. Why else would you post it if you weren't concerned?

Comment/reply from : Vicky - United States -
Posted : 2014-12-16 08:51:33


Sorry, you don't sound like a lesbian to me...You are not fantasizing about women, what more to say? You are meeting the wrong men. And young guys do seem to be much less mature these days. Perhaps you need to date older guys. But really, get busy with something in your life, you will meet someone. You are not supposed to be just having sex, you are supposed to meet someone, fall in love and then have sex, that is really the normal sequence of events, you are not a sex robot...

Comment/reply from : genuineyorkshireman - United Kingdom - Dewsbury
Posted : 2016-05-14 08:01:51


As other replies have said perhaps you should join a club that is connected to something that you enjoy doing in your leisure time,and you never know but you could find someone that is ideal for you.

Comment/reply from : 0 - United States - New York
Posted : 2016-10-17 15:19:31


We hate to say it, but you do live in the U.K. so it's really no wonder why you aren't interested in men! No offense but most British men we have ever met or known (and we've met many living here in NYC) are absolutely clueless when it comes to women. A large majority of them are wishy-washy, childish, boorish, pansies, or cheaters and many of them are actually 100% gay but, do date and marry women as a cover up and aren't really fulfilling nor satisfying in that department at all, so most end up divorced. And not many of them have any fashion sense whatsoever. They dress like slobs, nerds or soccer hooligans, and many seem to drop F-bombs like angry sailors and use foul language a bit too much. Who's turned on by that? You're obviously after a more refined and mature companion. Maybe you need to start dating upscale blokes or older gentleman and not silly boys! Though it probably has a lot to do with male/female segregated schools over there, which only reeks havoc on social skills, as to why many from there are gay or lesbian. It's not that your going lezbo, which is cool if you are but, its more of a "you just haven't found the ripe apple in the big barrel" yet. You're a pretty woman. If you ever want to hop across the pond for a girl/girl fling to see if you are going lez we would gladly make that happen for you too!

BTW, Do your female friends all claim to be straight and are with men or married? Wouldn't surprise me a bit if one or two of them are into women. just saying...